Have I mentioned that I really enjoy Facebook? I do. My favorite part - connecting with friends and family that I wouldn't otherwise connect with. Just thought I'd let you know.

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I've been doing some soul-searching lately. I have a...dream? I'm not sure it's really a dream.
Maybe - a desire, a "want-to".
A, "I think I'd be good at and really enjoy."
A, "I could live my life and not do this, and be just fine, but I think my life (and maybe some other people's lives) will be better if".

I've prayed and sought counsel. I've researched and made contacts. My emotions have been up and down and back again. And, finally I've found peace, which is what I like to think is God's way of guiding me.

I want to pursue becoming a midwife. And, I am. I'm not quite to the jump-in-with-both-feet point, but I've signed up for an Introduction to Midwifery (funny word) course.

This is a stretch for me. I'd really like to be able to see the BIG picture about now. I consider myself a "follow-the-rules" kind of gal. I like to go with the flow, not stand out - at least not for being different. But, the past few years, God has really stretched me out of my box. It began with home birth and was followed by home school. Two decisions that aren't in my "color-inside-the-lines" comfort zone. Now this desire to become a midwife too??

A few years ago, I wouldn't have even thought of those unconventional options. But, let's just say they wondered into my brain: I would have hoped that IF God wanted me (and He surely wouldn't) to do those things, I would somehow find a way to obey. But as we've encountered each decision, God's peace has been so sure that it was the only NATURAL option. Isn't that amazing. AMAZING!

So, will I become a midwife? I don't know. Right now, I have peace about this introductory course. We'll see what comes next.

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I haven't talked about Isaac (son #2) lately. Nolan and I often say, "I love that kid." He's so passionate. He's our cuddler. He'll hug you and not let go. He'll stop what he's doing just to come give you a kiss. Love is not the only emotion he shows, however. It has been, and I'm sure will continue to be, his challenge to operate in self-control. As he is struggling with this, I have found myself, often unsuccessfully, trying to be a role model. Did you know grown-ups are used to getting their way? How did you react the last time things didn't go your way?

Extreme Faith

I just started a new devotional yesterday - called "Extreme Devotion" - written by the same people who put together "Voice of the Martyrs". Day one was about a man who was imprisoned for distributing Christian literature in a Muslim country. At first he was upset and demanded God get him out - then after spending some time in prayer and worship - he remembered his plans were not God's plans - and he submitted to God's will. He began preaching in the prison - after he was released several of the former prisoners whom he ministered to while in prison came to him and wanted to know more. The devotional reminded me to turn over my plans and submit to God's plans. Of course my life isn't as extreme as his - but it's still easy to hold to tightly to what I think is best. An old lesson - but one I needed to be reminded of.