A few thoughts

Just a few thoughts I had today that I thought I'd share - for no particular reason.

(1) I caved in and bought ten of the canvas grocery bags today. I know I should feel good about this, after all I am doing something good for the earth. But, somehow, I feel like I gave into "peer" pressure - even though I'm not sure any of my "peers" use them. I always felt guilty about answering plastic when the grocery guy said, "paper or plastic." I just knew that secretly he was thinking, gosh this lady doesn't even care enough to use paper or better get the canvas bags. I'm sure, in reality, the grocery guy wasn't thinking about my bagging choice, but the cute girl ringing up my groceries, or when his break was coming, or what he was going to do tonight. But now I have ten canvas bags - I hope I remember to bring them to the grocery store.

(2) On the way to church Sunday morning, my two oldest boys were in the back of the minivan and had this conversation:
"Isaac look, there is a guy playing golf. I bet he doesn't know Jesus" (implying he'd be going to church instead of playing golf, if he knew Jesus.)
"Whoa, let's go tell him about Jesus!" (says Isaac)
"We can't to that; we can't talk to strangers." (says Caleb)

(3) Loosing faith? Our family, church and community have been dealing with an awful situation regarding a young man who was recently diagnosed with a brain tumor and had surgery to remove it. Following the surgery, the young man talked and joked with his family, but then his brain began to swell, and he was put in a medically induced coma for several weeks. Things did not improve and all the tests showed significant brain damage. We've been through a range of emotions. Lots of questions have been tossed around regarding our faith, or lack thereof; God's role vs. Satan's role; a roller coaster of emotion. Through it all, my children have been guarded, but still a part of the prayer. Last week, I told them that it would take a miracle for this boy to live. My oldest son said, "Mom, sometimes even at funerals people get up from the dead." Then he paused and added, "But, I guess that only happened in the Bible, right??" I love the innocence and faith that children exhibit. My oldest seems to be on somewhere in between childlike faith and whatever comes after that...I guess a little doubt. It's sad to me, I've counted on their innocent faith in moments like these - it somehow made me feel like things that I couldn't muster the faith for could somehow still happen because of their faith. (BTW, I'm sure none of that is theologically correct, just me trying to process life.)

(4) Last week, my husband and I had the joy of a leisurely supper with some old college friends. All of our kids were with sitters, and we visited long after our meals were finished and the waiters were stacking chairs on the tables. Then we moved to the parking lot and continued our visit for another 30 minutes. Our friendship began in college before any of us were married, continued through early marriage, and has now rounded the corner of kids and 10 year anniversaries. This time, our conversation centered around raising our children and our various jobs. Even though we live far apart and only get together periodically, the conversation still flowed; we enjoyed lots of laughs; shared struggles; and genuinely enjoyed each others company. We both made sacrifices to make this supper happen, and grandparents stepped up admirably to help in that regard. I sincerely believe that friendships are one of God's greatest gifts!

(5) Midwifery update: I received my classwork for the "Introduction to Midwifery" course around mid-April. I have 20 assignments due before October 10. One assignment includes reading eight different books and submitting notes. In fact, most assignments require submitting detailed notes and creating "files" about different subjects to use for reference should I continue to become a midwife. I can't imagine a better way to learn. I'm really enjoying what I'm learning. I'll try to write in more detail about this soon.

(6) Doula. I have my first doula birth scheduled for the beginning of June. I'll meet with mom and dad in the next week or two to outline what they would like to happen during labor and delivery. I'm excited, but nervous. I'm also meeting with the administration for our local (rural) hospital to educate them on what a doula is/does. When I asked for the meeting, no one knew what a doula was, so I'll anticipating an interesting conversation. I am hoping they are receptive!